Her Frozen Heart
by Hiorhey
Summary: Only sixteen and her life is a mess, Elsa's in pain. Anna hates her, her old friends too. Her parents are dead. Nobody is there for her. Now she has a new job as a waitress but it's not enough, shes breaking slowly and over time. And Jack might just be her managers son.
1. Chapter 1

The room was cold, the lights off. In fact the whole flat was quiet. Anna was in her room reading whilst Elsa was banging her wrist against the small wooden desk in the corner of her room, the consent rhythm was soothing. To her ears. It was familiar, it was home. The pleasure of pain hit her like an avalanche, it was amazing, the rush of happiness and excitement. But most of all release. She stopped after a few minutes and inspected her bruised, swollen wrist. Already it was turning a dark brown, it would look ugly. Especially as it was mixed with older bruises and red lines turning a lighter shade of purple. It pleased Elsa, she was finally able to do something,

_Pathetic_

_Stupid, you can't even look any uglier_

The voices, they haunted her mind. She sniffed and sat in the corner of the room, then she let it out, the tears. She cried into her arms begging to god,

"God take my pain away. Please god." But as usual there was no reply. She had to face the facts, there was no god out their to help her. She had to fight it herself.

But she knew it was already a lost cause. She'd lost the battle long ago.

Finally her tears came to a fading stop, she stood up and wrapped her arms around her waist.

**"I've been used by guys,**

**I've been hurt by girls,**

**I've been hit by my mum,**

**And cursed by the world,**

**So I keep hurting myself,**

**Wantin' to be perfect,**

**I'm waiting for someone to,**

**tell me that I'm worth it."**

She sang quietly to herself. She looked in the mirror and thought, only three words came to her mind whenever she saw herself naked and in front of a mirror,

_Ugly,_

_Disgusting,_

_Fat_

She sighed and traced her fingers over her scared legs, stomach and arms. Oh god was it worth it? Did she need some help? No, she was on her own.

She sat on her bed, turning away from the mirror and reached under her pillow. Elsa looked down to the book in front of her, it was pale blue with a golden glow, glitter and snowflakes scattered the cover, she made it when she was thirteen. She was only sixteen. Should this be her life? The answer was no, no she shouldn't. But it was how it was, no matter how much it should change it would never. Elsa shoved the book under her pillow and slapped her forehead, keep yourself together Elsa, don't fall.

She looked to the door and sighed, she opened it and knocked on the door opposite, Anna's room. She knocked twice,

"Anna, I'm going to a job interview now." She said softly, Anna, inside, rolled her eyes and cursed quietly.

"I don't fucking care." She yelled, Anna had never forgiven her for shutting her out for ten years. Elsa had a reason, but she could never ever share it with Anna. She'd take it to the grave, it had never been out from her lips. She sighed and wiped a tear.

Elsa walked back to her room and put on a long sleeved blue top and black and white striped jeans, simple dirty black converse and a black blazer. It was a job interview, she was forced to look smart. Even if it was for a waitressing jobs for the restaurant down the road. She opened the front door,

"Bye Anna!" She called, as always and expectantly she never heard a reply. Elsa had tried to make up for it. But she couldn't. No matter how hard she had tried it'd never worked. And it had hurt, like a burnt in her heart. Or as Anna called it, her cold frozen heart.

Once she arrived at the interview the manager greeted her warmly. In fact, the interview had gone amazing, better then Elsa had ever dreamed. She was introduced to some of the staff, there was Rupunzel, Hiccup, Astrid and Flinn or as his name tag said, Eugene. They seemed nice enough and the uniforms were great, you just had to wear a black top and black skirt/trousers and it was good. The code was strictly black and white, Elsa was fine with that. Black, blue and white was all she wore anyway.

"Well Elsa, you seem qualified enough, you got the job!" The manager, or North as everyone else called him, smiled shaking her hand. Elsa was so happy, she couldn't believe it.

_He only gave it to you out of pity._

_He feels sorry for you_

_Pathetic, can't even get a job that hasn't been given to you out of pity._

Elsa's smile faltered a little before regaining the bright, fake look. North noted in his head the error in Elsa's facade. He knew people, teens mostly, all to well.

"Thank you so much, just out of curiosity, when do I start?" She asked politely, she didn't want to loose her job as quickly as she got it. North laughed and looked at the papers on his desk,

"Well, if it's ok, tomorrow? At ten." He pondered, Elsa nodded and threw another thank you his way before leaving, she walked down the street feeling less obliged to hold a smile. Her features fell and she ran a hand threw her hair in frustration.

She was too busy looking down and bumped into someone, she nearly fell over but composed herself before she could hit the ground. She looked to the stranger and found him walking away throwing a 'sorry' over his shoulder. Elsa sighed.

_See how pathetic you are, nobody cares_

_No one in this world cares about you_

_Especially Anna, she hates you.._

"Shut up!" Elsa yelled in frustration. Her eyes were clenched shut so she didn't have to hear the judgment from people walking past. Elsa opened her eyes and fled the streets, she went to her flat and went into the kitchen getting a drink of water. Hoping it would calm her anxieties.

On the wall is a whiteboard, the whiteboard helped keep Elsa together, helped her not fall apart. On it was many thing, but mainly it was things to be grateful for. There were ten spaces. Three were filled up now. She was grateful for a home, food and water and a family. The fourth spot was now filled up.

She was thankful for four things now,

A home,

Food and water,

Family

And having a job.

'Maybe' Elsa thought, 'Maybe this year will get better'


	2. Chapter 2

*TRIGGER WARNINGS READ AT OWN RISK* enjoy :) song used is Baby Don't by BMike

~One Year Later~

"Elsa! This is the third time this week you've been late! It so frequent now." North yelled, Elsa was just looking down in shame she knew all this already, she was a failure, a spoilt, bratty one. She hadn't even been able to sleep, she failed the simplest things.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean too. Are you going to fire me?" She asked raising her head slowly, North sighed and looked down,

"No, just try to come in on time, oh and you weren't here for the meeting. We're having a uniform change, the others will tell you," North muttered, "now go do your job love, my son is visiting this afternoon."

Elsa left quickly, she though over in her head and muttered the words again.

"_I've been used by guys,_

_I've been hurt by girls,_

_I've been hit by my mum,_

_And cursed by the world,_

_So I keep hurting myself,_

_Wantin' to be perfect,_

_I'm waiting for someone to,_

_tell me that I'm worth it"_

She went into the break room and tied her apron on over her black skirt. She went outside and saw people waiting with menus in the restaurant and went over.

"Hello, my name is Elsa. Can I take your order?" She asked not looking up from the notepad. She noted what they wanted and told the cook. This was normally how the days went. Slow and boring.

By the time it was her break she was tried out, Flynn sat next to her on the couch,

"How many customers?" He asked annoyed, Elsa laughed softly, it sounded so forced though. Flynn was concerned, like everyone else. Everyone worried about her, she keeps getting more distance. Rupunzel didn't seem to notice but she was in her own world. Astrid and hiccup knew but nobody seemed to care, or act. Flynn stood up and faced Elsa,

"You need anything tell me ok?" He asked making sure he saw her nod before walking of. Silently Elsa wanted him to stay, so she wouldn't have to be alone with her thoughts. She started to eat her baguette she made at home when the thoughts kicked in,

_Wow your eating that_

_Fat pig eat anymore Anna's mobile number will be the number you next see on the scale._

_Honestly, do you know how many calories that is_

_Disgusting_

_Pathetic_

Elsa threw her barely eaten baguette in the bin and brought her knees up to her face. She whimpered when she felt her belly rub slightly on her thigh. She really was fat. Maybe she should stop eating for a while, cut a couple of pounds, maybe just not eat as much, or she could just die. She never thought about her death before. She had many opinions to die by like hanging herself, overdosing, knife, blade. So many opinions.

'**Shes only seventeen her whole life head of her.'**

She stood up and walked to the toilet sitting in the loo, the door locked. Her breath was shaking as she reached into her shirts breast pocket, she took a risk today, she was wearing a white silky shirt that showed her collar bone a tiny bit of her wrists. Elsa knew better then to cut her wrists, so she bruised them. She cut her upper arms. Bruised the lower. It made it no better but to Elsa it was perfect. She rolled her sleeve up and stopped, the shirt was white. Elsa sighed and rolled it back down. This time lifting her skirt a little to find her soul. There was no room on her thigh, no clean spot. She grunted and cut over them.

The build up to the marks was what Elsa loved, then she had the release, the cut itself. It's like saying to a child at the beginning of the day that in the evening after tea. The whole day the child will be excited, tension will be building so strong that the pleasure and happiness that after you want so much more.

She sat and watched as her leg bleed until it could no longer do so and wiped it up with a few tissues, nobody would notice her missing presence, nobody cared enough.

_Worthless people cut darling_

_Immature people would notice you are missing_

_I wish you could see how bloody stupid you are Elsa_

'**She hates work cause the people there discredit her.'**

Elsa stood up and straightened her skirt, she walked out of the bathroom with the smile she'd perfected over the years. Her thighs were sore and kept rubbing on her skirt but Elsa took pleasure in it, happiness in it, excitement. She walked into the break room of out her apron back on when she saw North and everyone else sitting on the sofas talking, once she entered they stopped talking.

_See they don't care that you were gone _

_Wouldn't care if you died_

Elsa gripped her waist, anxieties and self consciousness creeped around her like a wind. But then Flynn and Hiccup both left squeezing her shoulder as they went back to work,

"Good luck." Hiccup whispered before leaving. Why would she need luck?

'But everyday she just get lower with her self-esteem'

"Elsa this is Jack my son, Jack this is Elsa." North bellowed from the corner, behind him a boy around eighteen stood up, walking in front of his father. The boy had light blonde hair and blue eyes. He wore a simple blue hoodie and brown shorts, yet no shoes or socks. He was leaning of a staff with a crooked edge. He nodded at her with a smirk, eyeing her. Elsa shuffled her feet and locked her fingers together.

'**Nobody seems to get ya, ya feel you're on your own'**

"Hi." He said winking. Elsa sighed,

"Hello." She replied, a sharp tone in her voice, her mind swirled and suddenly she wished she was in bed, the safest place. Jack looked at her a little confused but ignored it and shrugged. Walking to North's office.

"Elsa, he's going to be working here so be nice." North says gently before following Jack. Elsa walked back into the restaurant and continued work, there wasn't more she could do.

When the restaurant was finally closing Astrid walked up to Elsa,

"Hey Elsa, there's a pool party tonight, you should come." She said nudging Elsa who tensed and opened her mouth. She looked around and saw everyone was in the break room, except North. He left ages ago so that he could do something like, well nobody knew, he did leave suddenly a lot.

"I-I might not-t b-be able too." She stuttered under pure pressure, Flynn and Rupunzel made a whiny noise,

'Oh come on it'll be fun!" Hiccup smiled placing an arm around Astrid's shoulder. Elsa shook her head giving them a small smile. Everything in the room grew colder. Elsa shivered and threw her jean jacket on wrapping it around her small body.

"Sorry guys Anna isn't allowed to be left at home alone." Everyone, except Jack, knew about Elsa's sister, they didn't know about what happened behind closed doors. She was thankful none the less.

"I'm sure she'd be ok for a few hours El." Flynn pressed, she sighed, there was no way she would be getting out of this one.

"Fine I'll come, what time?" She asked looking outside nervously it was getting dark, at only 7? Elsa frowned and looked to them expectantly,

"Oh at nine and bring Anna, jack! You should come too." Rupunzel excitedly squealed, Hiccup and Astrid fake palmed. They didn't like Jack, not after they saw how Jack'd treated girls speed slept with. Of course Rupunzel, Flynn and Elsa didn't know so they looked at each other, and smiled.

"Sure, I can." Jack smiled and threw a blue hoodie on, Elsa looked and saw silver embroidery on it. It amazed her how people could be so detailed when making clothes.

'**I know your heart is hurting, you think the world is in**'

Elsa bid them all a quick goodbye and walked home, she walked through the door to see Anna eating Pizza in the living room watching television.

"Hey Anna, my work mates invited me to a pool party tonight at nine, would you like to come?" She asked nervously. Elsa twisted her thumbs around the other and bit her lip.

"Sure." Was her sisters response, Elsa just sighed in relief that it wasn't sharp or emotionless, Anna had genuinely sounded happy to go with her.

Elsa walked to her room, deciding to take a quick nap before the party. She payed on her bed, not bothering to get under the duvet.

**~Dream~**

**He was coming for me knife in his hand. His smirk lingered on his perfectly sculptured face. To me he was the devil but also the angel. I was terrified. Most people just guessed we were the perfect couple. Always happy, but everything was fake. Behind closed doors he was evil, abusive. He held the sharply edged knife to my collar bone digging slightly. No blood was drawn yet, like I said, yet.**

**"Elsa, what to do with you." He teased. His face got closer to mine as the knife slashed my shoulder. A strained cry left my lips as hot tears burned my cheeks. The unbearable pain scorched my skin, my once white sleeve covered in red sticky blood oozing out of the wound. My breaths turned into short gasps as I begged for air. Crying and bleeding left such a state in you that you forget to breath. He leaned closer till I felt his breath on my skin.**

**"Boo, what should I do know, maybe this?" He questioned slashing my wrist making my scabs already there from the morning burst open. This time a ear piercing scream erupted me. He growled,**

**"What did I say about screaming?" He hissed in my face holding the knife above my leg. The tears started coming down in water falls this time.**

**"P-please don't! I love you please don't." I begged, his smirk returned. He dropped the knife and held his hand out to me. I took it and he lead me outside the house. The moonlight sky shined around us. My tears stopped, I felt safe again. My head started spinning and I fell to the ground head smacking the pavement.**

**~End Of Dream~**

Elsa woke up panting, she looked over to the clock next to her 8:15. 'Shit' Elsa thought. She sat up and ran her hand through her hair in deep thought,

She'd never had a dream that bad before,

'**The next day she's feeling better then the day before.'**

She walked to her chest of drawers and got a pair of denim 3/4 length jeans and a light brown jumper. Elsa quickly walked into the bathroom, locking the door. She sat on the toilet and looked in the mirror. She was doing it, going to a party. If you'd told her this a year ago she'd have ignored you and cried for weeks but it was happening. For real. Elsa looked her her reflection and grabbed some concealer hiding her dark shadows and the blemishes around her nose. She put eyeliner and mascara on her eyes and saw herself. She looked a little more presentable. She smiled at her reflection choosing the most reliable type of smile and changed into the clothes in front of her.

'**Even cracked a couple smiles as she walked the corridors.'**

Elsa looked at the outfit, it was ok, she could just say she was too ill to go in the pool and swim or maybe she could skip. No, they'd ask her about it tomorrow. The jumper was thinner and showed more of her collars then Elsa had hoped but it was ok. She pulled her hair up into a high messy ponytail and walked out, dumping her old clothes in her room.

Elsa continued into the kitchen and fixed herself a glass of water and a cup of tea. She drank the water quickly to quench the hunger in he stomach for as long as possible and drank her tea slowly. She sat on a stool and leaned her head in her hands on the counter. She breathed in and out deeply, she was watching the way the corners patterns twisted. It amazed her, the smallest things.

Finally Anna showed up in a green tank too and black jeans, Elsa smiled and pressed her lips into a thin line.

"You ready?" She asked faking the cheerfulness that made Elsa want to throw up.

"Yah I guess."

"So how's school?"Elsa asked trying to break some of the tension that was surrounding the room like a wall of ice. Elsa got ready for silence, the hopeless stupid silence that'd fall whenever one of them, basically always Elsa, tried to talk and it would be uncomfortable for the rest of the journey. What surprised Elsa was when she heard a large breath.

"It's good, teachers are nice and so are the people." Anna replied no sharp tone or anything, in fact she turned to face Elsa and smiled. Elsa felt her heart pound in her chest. Happiness, someone she truly hadn't felt on a long, long time. Maybe she was happy because she had been invited to a party or because Anna had been so normal to Elsa. It was a fair choice.

"Lovely."

Rupunzel's house pulled up into view it was large and there was a steady beat of music echoing into the streets. Anna had left the car, she was already at the door waiting patiently for her sister. They knocked at the door and none other than Flynn answered smirking,

"Hi." He purred, Anna giggled and walked silently until she saw someone she knew and ran off.

The rest of the evening was a blur if Elsa was going to be honest. She just remembers the heavy beat, the sweating, writhing bodies and the smell of smoke and alcohol in the air.

Nobody really knew how the five of them ended up sitting outside on chairs. Talking, laughing, chatting, Elsa felt so out of place here, she was fidgeting a lot and looked around. Occasionally they'd include her in the conversations but Elsa didn't mind. She liked just thinking.

'**And everybody in the room just seemed to point and laugh**'


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

**Ok so I have a fun fact. Elsa's character is based from Stiles on Teen Wolf, does anyone here watch teen wolf?**

Elsa wasn't always sad. She had good days sometimes usually it's if she's with a friend, though she has literally only one. The only friend she considers herself close with is Flynn, maybe Rupunzel and Hiccup but it's Flynn. Since she began her job they would meet up and go to the park or shop or even just talk, for hours. She was so thankful to have a friend like him. She knew a lot about him and he to her, but not everything. Elsa could never say everything that's happened to her. He'd judge her and throw her away that they did. Everyone else.

'**Today you don't wanna get out of bed."**

Flynn and Elsa were due to hang out in the shops today. Elsa just couldn't bring herself to get up of the bed she didn't even know why. It was like she's lost the will to even try anymore. She didn't want to make an effort. She didn't want to move. She didn't want to breath. It was strange, waking up and feeling like you'd rather not. To wake up with thoughts in your head, disturbing thoughts, terrifying thoughts, ones that haunted her. Scared her. Made her fearful.

'**There are so many thoughts in your head**."

She put her hand under her pillow and pulled the familiar pale blue book. Her diary. She flipped it over to a clean page and grabbed a pen, she kept one on her night stand incase she needed to vent her feelings. Some pages included little quotes, other held moments she wanted to remember, happy memories. Like of her and her sister. Her and her parents. Her favourite memory was when she and Anna went camping, aged 13, they had decided to go swimming in a lake but ended up canoeing with a Chinese guy that caught a big fish, the evening after they'd sat around a campfire with the mans family and ate the fish. She smiled remembering the memories. The cover was bumpy and rough. The edges were crumpled from where she moved around in her sleep. The page she was on was smooth and fine, perfect for ink, even drawing.

Elsa felt like she needed to jot down her feeling, especially now.

'**Like you'd be better if dead, better of dead.'**

Instead of writing the normal 'dear diary' she went to the first page. The first page was crispy and had blood splotches on, probably because it was the first time she was punched in the face and her nose was bleeding like crazy. She closed the book and slid it back to its place under her pillow. Her mind was going crazy and she scratched her head. She looked at her fingernails and noticed the dandruff and oil on them from her hair, she really needed to take a shower.

'**But let me tell you.'**

So that's what she did. She scrubbed her body viciously, without even looking you could be sure that red patches were forming on her pale white skin. When she finished she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body. Whilst walking back to her room, Anna walked out of hers. Elsa froze and wrapped her arms around her body, hiding the angry red marks, Anna smiled slightly to Elsa,

"Morning Elsa." She nodded politely, Elsa sighed, it was like they were strangers that had to share a roof. Elsa nodded back and ran to her room shutting the door behind her and panted.

'**There's a whole world waiting for you.'**

Elsa looked her her face in the mirror and rubbed eyeliner on her eyelids and mascara on her eyelashes and bb cream on her skin. She sighed and pocked her chin. A double chin was visible, it looked terrible. Her cheeks had started to sink in due to lack of sleep. Bags under her eyes and shadows of blue and dark brown formed more visible then before.

'**Its hard to believe but it's true.'**

Elsa walked to her chest of draws and pulled out a grey burnout top, a light blue oversized hoodie and some black ripped skinny jeans. Elsa quickly put them all on and rolled the sleeves up. She looked down at the canvas of scars and bruises. It was coming up to summer, she wanted to wear short sleeved tops and bikinis but she couldn't.

A) her scars and cuts

B) Her body

C) her bikini line

It made her uncomfortable to think about it. Elsa shook of the thoughts and grabbed her keys and some change she had in her money box or "happy box" as she called it. It was just a wooden box painted white that was in a draw in her night stand. Inside the box was a safe that had nearly all the money she earned from work. Some money was in her purse and some emergency places around the flat but this was her main supply.

'**So just hold onto me, hold onto me**.'

When Elsa arrived at the town centre she rolled her sleeves down and unzipped her hoodie, it was the only thing she could do to help her with the heat. The heat that tingled her skin, sent burning sensations up and down her back. She looked to where he normally came from and saw him walk round the corner. She smiled and stood up, making her way to him. Flynn grinned and hugged her tightly. Neither of them knew it but they were both thankful, thankful to be friends. Flynn was friends with a lot of people but he was defiantly a lot more closer to Elsa then to them. Yes, he was dating Rupunzel and they were amazingly close. But he never got that best friend. Now he had one.

'**Because if you go my heart would break**.'

Elsa was the same, since all her friend left her. She couldn't blame em though, it's hard to be friends with someone who has locked their door to everyone and everything. But at least she had good intention to. If she told anyone what happened they'd either ignore her for the rest of their lives or say she over reacted. Elsa doubted anyone would pity her. But she knew she reacted perfectly fine, if the definition of fine was crying, screaming and hurting.

Everyone knew the scale. The scale to show where fine was it went:

Amazing | great | good | ok | bad | very bad | awful | fine

"So shall we go onwards." Flynn grinned pointing towards the Brunel, where most of the shops were. Elsa grinned and nudged him.

"We shall."

The thing Flynn liked most about Elsa was that she didn't go to the bra and underwear section. She went to Holland and Barrett. Flynn was confused wasn't Holland and Barrett full of diet stuff and herbal remedies. Without a question, he followed her in. Elsa had picked out a plastic jar with some diet pill brand on it and some scar cream.

'**Cause you are so beautiful**.'

"Who are they for?" He asked, pointing to the objects in her looked down to what she held. Her breath hitched while her mind thought of something to say.

"The pills are for my aunt and the scar cream for my cousin. Shes got a nasty burn on her hand that's scarring and my aunts trying to keep her weight and be able to eat whatever the hell she wants." Elsa explained looking into Flynn's eyes and smiling, adding in a roll of the eyes to make it more believable. Thankfully Flynn brought it to Elsa's relief.

So they carried on walking around the shops until Flynn sighed annoyed. He looked at the far corner of topman/topshop to see jack leaning on the counter. He was talking to the girl behind the counter, the girl was blushing and laughing. Jack was flirting with her, and he appeared to be victorious.

'**I promise you this I promise you this**.'

Elsa looked in the direction that Flynn was looking at. She scoffed. Over the past two weeks they had been working together had been...interesting. They hadn't really talked that much but from what Elsa had heard, she hated.

"What did we do wrong today to deserve this?" Elsa wondered out loud, Flynn looked at her confused yet amused.

"I've done nothing wrong El." Flynn answered while he heard Elsa gasp,

"Oh my lord today I didn't say good morning back to Anna. I thought it but I never said it. And for that I deserve this?" Elsa started to hit her head repeatedly. Flynn laughed and grabbed her head lightly in his hands. Elsa looked at him confused. Why was he laughing she was being deadly serious. He stopped laughing slowly and pointed back to Jack.

'**And you are more then capable**.'

"Should we say hi?" He asked, Elsa shrugged and fiddled with the hem of her hoodie. Flynn was confused as to why she was wearing a hoodie in the bright sun but he didn't say anything, maybe she was really pale and burned easy or she was uncomfortable with being bare armed.

"Sure, if you want I mean." She smiled, Flynn smiled back. As annoying as Jack could be, Flynn thought he was a great person. You had to just get through he many many many MANY layers that he made piled on himself. Yes he was angry and irritating but he was just like them, looking for a job and trying to make it in the world. But knowing his dad, he could afford a college education. Flynn looked at Elsa, she was seventeen, shouldn't she be in college? 'Me and Rupunzel took college together so did hiccup and Astrid. We graduated, what about El?'

'**Just believe in yourself when nobody else is listening**.'

They walked over to Jack, Flynn started the conversation, something Elsa was thankful of.

"Hey Jack." He said pulling Jack away from the girl he was flirting with. Jack gave them a dirty look. Elsa's chest tightened.

_Oh god he hates you just like everyone else_

"Oh hello Flynn. Elsa." He nodded spitefully. Without anything else Elsa decided to turn away and browse the clothes whilst the boys talked. She normally never shopped in shops like this, rarely she would. Only if she was in the mood to treat herself. Which was more frequent since she began to work.

To think, everything was going ok until a trio of people walked into the shop. This is one of the main reasons she never left the flat. She didn't want to bump into them. She blocked them out for her reasons and her reasons only.

'**And I may not even know your name**.'

"Elsa?" One of them said shocked. Her name was Debra, she was with Julie and Courtney, her old best friends. Elsa mentally slapped herself. Of course they'd come onto this shop, they had used to do it when they were all friends in year 7&8.

"Hello." Elsa quietly responded, her tone was polite and sounded elegant. As if it was practised for hours. Which it was, she used to do it so that she wouldn't sound stupid when meeting new people.

'**But I promise you I felt the same**.'

"So, how have you been it's been. What, four years now?" Courtney spoke, Elsa flinched slightly at the way she said it. It was disappointment. And god did it terrify her.

Flynn looked over to Elsa about half way through his and Jacks talk to see her talking to three girls. He was confused, he didn't know Elsa had friends. Jack stopped talking and looked at Flynn and followed his gaze. People seemed to be following his gaze a lot lately. They looked at Elsa and made their way over to them, curiously.

"T-that long?" Elsa stuttered her breathing increased rapidly, her mind shut down whilst her chest closed around her. She didn't know what to say really to them.

'**As you do right now, you'll make it somehow**.'

"Flynn this is a privet conversation we shouldn't butt in." Jack whispered. Flynn shook his head and stood next to Elsa, his grip on Jacks arm never softening. Elsa looked up to them smiling softly, she was grateful they were there.

"We just want an explanation El." Julie pushed in front of Debra and Courtney. She crossed her hands trying to seem calm and content but coming across as intimidating.

"I- I..." Elsa couldn't finish, she couldn't say anything. She was still stunned how they were in front of her. She's pushed them to the back of her mind so much that it seemed like they were once in a dream she'd had years ago. She thought she was over them, but it still hurt to see them. They looked beautiful, puberty hit them great. The once geeky, unpopular trio now looked stunning.

"An explanation for what?" Flynn asked, Courtney looked at Flynn for the first time and looked to jack, then back to Elsa. Debra raised an eyebrow and Julie just kept her position.

'**And even if you felt as though you have no friend**.'

"For shutting us out. For locking the doors in our faces. Every time we texted it came up with 'number does not exist. Why Elsa? And if we knocked on your door you never answered. We were there for you! And what do we get in return? We get ignored." Debra's face was red, possibly from both being annoyed and angry. Jack and Flynn stared at them, confused. Elsa had done that?

'**Except the blade that cuts your skin**.'

"I-I'm sorry." Elsa replied her breathing sharpened, she felt like her legs were going to give out below her. Just as if things couldn't get worse, Anna came in with her friend Meredith, a girl with red hair, they'd met around a year ago when Elsa was halfway through her first year as a waitress.

"Anna?" Elsa said looking to her sister. Anna looked at Elsa and her eyes widened,

"Elsa." She stated nodding her head smiling. Elsa's hand kept clenching and un clenching. It was keeping her sain. Black dots started to clot up her vision.

'**Your better then this you're worth more.'**

"We better go, bye Elsa." The three girls walked away, out the shop leaving Elsa, the boys and the girls there alone.

"Who were they?" Jack asked.

"Just some people I used to know, can we leave it now?" Elsa turned to Jack, her stare cold and hard. Jack raised his hands in defence and rolled his eyes.

"Well sorry." Jack laughed lightly, Elsa hit his arm. He glared at her and grabbed her arm, missing how she winced when his hand came in contact with a bruise. Flynn pulled Jack away from her.

"Guys, I'm going home." He said, Elsa nodded and hugged him, watching him leave hushed let out a breath. Jack turned to Elsa,

"Just you and me huh?" He commented, Elsa was about to respond that Anna and Meredith were here too but when she looked around the pair were nowhere to be seen. She frowned.

'**And even if you go my heart will break**.'

"I guess, but I'm just going to go home." She said looking up at Jack. He grinned and put a hand on her shoulder. She looked down and shuffled her feet, tugging on her sleeves and bunching them in her hands.

"Okay then El. Have fun." He sang before heading of into a different direction, leaving the shop. Elsa glared at where he left. He called her El, only her friends normally did. Yet Elsa couldn't help but grin when thinking about the blue eyed boy. She laughed lightly before walking out the shop herself and walking home. Today was a good day, apart from the awkward encounter with her old friends. But she wouldn't change what happened for the world

'**Just hold on one more day.'**


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Is it me or when someone says 'you alright' you feel the need to get all defensive and say something like 'I know you are but what am I?

* * *

'**My ship went down, in a sea of sound.'**

When she woke up, Elsa's mind was at ease. She got up without any problems, maybe today was a good day. Elsa put on the familiar black skirt and put a long sleeved white top on. She shrugged on a black blazer too and pulled some tights on. She walked to the mirror and looked in it. She was fine, she was fine, she was fine. She was great. She was amazing.

But with just another look pain the mirror that 'perfect picture' seemed to crash around her. She wasn't fine, she wasn't fine, she wasn't fine. She was bad. She was hurt. She was sad. Worst of all she was alone, Anna was going to be gone for a week for a school trip. Elsa hated coming home to an empty flat, she hated waking to an empty flat. She had no choice. She was forced into this life, to being her. If she had the chance to switch with anyone else she would, no doubt about it.

'**when I woke up alone I had everything.'**

She sighed and went into the kitchen and drank some orange juice. She paused and looked down. Orange juice couldn't make you fat right?

_Everything does Elsa_

_If you touch it then it makes you fat_

_God do you want to wobble harder whilst walking?_

_Pig_

Elsa sighed and poured the rest down the drain, she didn't want to but she had too. She didn't want to wobble while she walked, and be a pig. She slipped her little black flats on and walked out of the flat locking the door behind her. She walked out of the building to work.

'**A handful of moments I wish I could change.'**

When she arrived at the building everyone was there, she groaned, she wasn't late was she. She looked at the clock on the wall and saw she was five minutes early, she sighed in relief. Elsa tried to ignore as many people as she could and just get down to work but as always people tried to start a conversation with her.

'**But it rung like a nightmare that cut like a blade.'**

"How are you Elsa?"

"You alright?"

'**In a city of fools I was careful and cool.'**

She ignored it most of the day but Flynn walked up to her during the final shift hours.

"You ok El, you seem stressed." He asked quietly, wiping the table next to where she was sorting the cutlery out. She sighed,

"I'm ok god, will people stop bothering me." She responded quickly without thinking, she looked at Flynn and saw the surprised and hurt look on his face. She felt guilty, he was trying to be friendly and up she was just being a bitch.

_You're always a bitch so it's ok_

'**Give me therapy, I'm a walking travesty.'**

"Sorry, I'm just really tired." She said softly, she squeezed his shoulder giving a small smile. Flynn nodded and looked at the clock and gasped.

"Oh my shifts over, I'll call you later tonight El okay?" He said, Elsa nodded and waved him goodbye. Once he left the building she watched as everyone else packed their thighs up and left, some knowing Elsa was in a bad mood and not bothering. It made Elsa feel like crap. She was horrible to people who were genuinely worried.

Elsa sighed and continued working. Once she finished with the cutlery she grabbed a cloths and wiped the tops of the tables until the were all descent. North came into the dining area and smiled.

**'but I'm smiling at everything.'**

"Elsa I'm going home now, Jacks going to lock up. Go home sweetheart you look nackered!" He chuckled ruffling her hair lightly, Elsa laughing to, a little too forced. She watched as he left too saying a small 'goodbye' each. Elsa out the cloth back on the sink and went into the break room sitting in the bench and breathed in and out deeply. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. She went to her locker checked through it. She was collecting her stuff when she was suddenly on the ground clutching her elbow. Sharp stabbing pains shot through her arm, she winced loudly and the person that caused it kneeled down. She hadn't been dumb, the only person that it could have been was Jack as he was the only person left. Jack kneeled in front of her.

"Shit sorry Elsa!" He said quickly leaning forward then backwards, unsure of what to do. She held her hand out to be pulled up and he shook his head, as if recovering and stood up, helping her. She smiled before it faltered into a slight frown. Jack hit his forehead with his palm,

'**Therapy you were never a friend to me.'**

"Oh crap sorry, you hurt your elbow? Why did I question it of course you hurt your elbow." Jack muttered reaching out to grab her arm, Elsa flinched when he gently took hold of it. He looked at her confused and released it quickly holding his hands up in defence. Elsa couldn't help but giggle lightly, she smiled slightly and held her arm out, letting him take it. He did so, he held her arm carefully and felt her elbow.

"Okay there's a small bump should be fine in a couple of hours." Jack said softly letting her arm fall limply to her side. Elsa nodded and went to get her stuff.

"Someone threw away a whole sandwich, what a waste." He moaned, Elsa but her lip and hoped her didn't know it was hers, "oh well their loss." He shrugged and turned away facing Elsa. She was going to say something but he cut her off.

"What's that?" Jack said pointing to Elsa's wrist. Her heart stopped, did he know. How was it that he knew? What had he seen?

'**so you can take back your misery.'**

"What's what?" Elsa responded trying to act calm and content. She thought for a second, conceal don't feel, don't feel, don't feel.

"That bruise?" Elsa's eyes widened in surprise, he hadn't seen but this was still bad,

"Oh that?" 'Really? That's all I could think of?' She thought to herself,

_Stupid isn't it Elsa_

_God can't even make good responses_

"Do you have like, an abusive family or something?" Jack questioned, his curiosity getting the better of him. He reached to her wrist to look at it more closely but she pulled it away.

"What no." She snapped at him, he raised his eyebrows and smirked widely. How Elsa stopped herself from slapping him she'll never know.

'**arrogant boy love yourself so no one has too.'**

"Abusive boyfriend?" Jack asked, Elsa had to do a double take. Abusive boyfriend? She felt like laughing.

"No Jack." She replied getting pissed off and annoyed. She folded her arms and leaned against the wall, Jack folded his arms and did the same. She was confused as to if she was being mocked or not. She shook the thought and looked at the feet.

"Then why do you have a bruise?" Jack asked again, softer this time, almost worried but he sounded to cocky, to happy with the situation to Elsa that she didn't hear it. She couldn't control her thoughts. There were whirling around her head like a thousand tornados.

**'Their better off without you.'**

"Because I trapped it in my car door!" She yelled, she was beyond annoyed and just angry now. The lie seemed to slip through her lips as if practised a million times. She needed to calm down but she just couldn't. She closed her eyes and took in deep breathes before reopening her eyes and unfolding her arms.

"Oh really?" Jack whispered loudly, he cocked his head to the side and smirked wider, if it was even possible which is normally impossible but here is the proof that it is.

"Yes." She stated calmly, her voice authorised and content, she was pleased with herself. She kept quite calm.

'**arrogant boy cause a scene like your supposed too.'**

"When?" He asked, Elsa was surprised, she didn't expect this question. She expected a 'why' question or just for him to let it go like a lot of people did.

"Monday? I don't know." She shrugged, she was sweating slightly, she hated being under pressure like this. She expected more questions and a long interrogation but to her surprise Jack just shrugged and nodded.

"Okay." He said. Elsa stared at him for a moment but then nodded her head.

"Bye Jack." She waved to him, he waved back and she started to walk backwards to the doors, Jack laughed and smiled to her.

"Good bye El." Jack sang before walking into the back room. She sprinted out of the restaurant fast. She was sure she wore her sleeves firmly down. How could she have been so stupid? Car door? Really. She decided she needed to calm her nerves so she stopped at the store she always passed but never entered.

'**Your lucky if the memories remain**.'

Elsa walked into the liquor shop and scanned her eyes across the many, many options of alcohol she could have. There were so many ranging from wine to champagne, everything. Elsa decided simply on a bottle of Jack Daniels and a large bottle of Vodka. She walked up to the cashier putting the bottles of the counter top. The cashier gave her a look and raised her eyebrow. Elsa fidgeted under her stare, feeling the judgement and disappointment.

_See even someone who doesn't know you hates you._

_Everyone hates you Elsa._

_Just die Elsa._

_Little El what happened to you?_

Elsa handed her credit card to the lady behind the cash register and bit her lip harshly and firmly. She began to taste the metallic tint blood seemed to have to it and relaxed, she was fine. She was fine. She was fine. Or at least, that's what she told herself. The lady asked for her pin and she typed it in. Elsa got the liquor in a plastic bag that was doubled with another plastic bag so it wouldn't fall out and so the handles wouldn't break. Grabbing her card, she walked outside fast and carefully. She didn't want to mess up. Many things could go wrong. She could drop the liquor, she could die, she could see someone she loves and makes them hate her, she could see her boss and he thinks she a alcoholic.

'**They'll fall asleep without you.'**

Elsa did everything she could to run home without hearing the clanging of bottles and running into people. She kept her head down low and avoided eye contact. It worked because she made it too her flat without seeing anyone. Ana was out, she was safe and sound. Elsa out her keys in the lock and twisted them, she opened the door, slamming it behind her. The echo bouncing off the walls. She wasn't ready for the tears, well she was but she didn't expect them so soon. Without notice, they were falling from her eyes faster then she wanted. Ugly gulping noises made their way up her throat and she gagged.

She was barely in the place for ten minutes before she brought the vodka out and drank straight from the bottle. Her mind was collapsing and her heart was faltering. She felt like she was drowning. Searching for answers at the bottom of a bottle seemed the only thing she was good at. The only thing she wanted. She was as fragile as a butterfly and she deadly as a grenade. The burning sensation from the liquor was rolling from her throat to her stomach. It settled uncomfortably in her stomach. She burped and felt like laughing. This was so stupid. She was half way through a bottle of vodka and drunk.

'**Im flesh and bone, I'm a rolling stone."**

_Such a lightweight El_

_Pathetic aren't you can't even hold your drink well_

_You get drunk so easy if only you'd die that easy_

She couldn't do it, she couldn't ignore the voices any more, she needed to hear them no longer. Each word, each sentence was ripping her apart. She finished the bottle and threw it across the room and into a mirror with anger. The broken shards falling only made her cry harder and get more anxious. She walked over and looked in the mirror at herself. Her face was red and her eyes blood shot. She looked tired. She was just like the mirror, broken and unrepairable sure she could get a new one but that would mean throwing this one away, throwing herself away. She couldn't do that. She wouldn't let that happen. She couldn't.

Elsa kneeled down and tried to pick up the broken pieces but she couldn't. Her eyes were to blurry with her own salty tears. Tears that needed to be gone from her face but hell, Elsa was to drunk. Too over the line. She didn't know what she was doing. She was sad. She was a sad girl leading a happy girls life. A fake life. Her smile had become so forced she felt fake, she had to pinch herself to make sure she could feel. She felt like a doll, a ugly china doll that could walk and talk.

'**And the experts say I'm delirious.'**

She thought in her head, 'If you're going through hell, keep going.' Her breathing pace quickened she felt like the world was closing in, 'For you may get out before the devil knows your there.'

She ran, ran upstairs discarding all of the glass on the floor, it wasn't worth her time. She went into the bathroom and locked the door. Elsa crumpled into a ball sobbing into her arms, she never felt so worthless. She was weak, anything and everything triggered her. She hated it so much but she could not change it. She could never change it. Her heart ached for someone to hug her, to hold her close and tell her everything will be ok. To caress her marks and tell her she's beautiful but that is bullshit. It would never happen, never. Nobody liked the imperfections on someone's body. You had to be skinny, perfect, flawless and stunning, drop dead pretty. It was awful, the society was different nowadays. Elsa read books in history class and wished she lived in times like the 1970s, when everything was so easy.

'**My lungs give out as I face the crowd.'**

Maybe it was because she was tired that she pulled her blade out, she was tired. So bloody tired, tired of the same pattern everyday. The constant overwhelming schedule. It was always get up, work, go home, sleep. Boring, yet she had such trouble trying to do it everyday. She found it so difficult to get out of bed, to sleep, to work, to keep happy all day for her co workers and boss.

She dragged the metal blade across her arm, feeling the familiar rush and itch. The one she longed for. The rush made her happy, her little satan in a metal object. She felt the adrenaline rush up in her, maybe it was the drink and the crying but she kept at it. She attacked her skin like no other. She acted like she was itching her skin, slicing her arm's skin up until blood started to seep into her palm and down to her elbow. It was everywhere blood. She couldn't look anywhere without seeing it. But it didn't stop her. She kept cutting, each time she got deeper and deeper. She felt the familiar self loathing overwhelm her.

Stupid

Fat

Ugly

Pathetic

Worthless

Faggot

Cunt

She made mistakes in her life, maybe the biggest was tonight as she looked at her stomach and started to carve into in the simple three letter words that hit like a ton of bricks. She felt sick build in her throat and she leaned over the toilet throwing up, blood smeared onto the seat. It looked like a horror movie. Her blade was laying somewhere amongst the blood pools beginning to build. Her head felt like someone was hitting it with a hammer repeatedly. She held her head and cried softly. She tried to do it quietly so that she wouldn't have to be in anymore pain.

'**Give me therapy.'**

Black dots started to fill Elsa's vision, her breath hitched in her throat and she fell onto the floor on her side, banging her head in the floor. Then her world blackened out.

'**I'm a walking travesty, but I'm smiling at everything.'**


	5. Chapter 5

_CHAPTER FIVE _

_if I get one more pm saying "you don't know how Elsa is feeling stop acting like you know what depression/cutting is like" I swear to god I'll delete this whole bloody story. Like can you stop? Also I'd like to thank again everyone who reviews. A special thanks to Mahn and snowman (guest) your reviews had me so happy and I love them so much. Snowman, yours was so detailed and oh my god I was screaming and Mahn, you reviewed right as I was finishing this chapter and your so so amazing! You are beautiful trust me, not any of the things you said, if you ever want to talk message me :) _

_Sorry for the long Authors note! _

* * *

**"She planned ahead for a year, he said, "Let's play it by ear."**

When Elsa woke up she was laying on her couch, her arms were tightly bandaged and lay at her sides, her head ached. She groaned and tried to sit up but some heavy arms pushed her back into a laying position. Elsa opened her eyes not surprised to see the grey sky peeking in through the window. Clouds covered the sky, she'd give it around 5/8 orcas. She blinked a few times to clear her blurry vision and saw a familiar face looking at her. The brown hair, the dark eyes. Flynn was looking down at her smiling happily. She was about to ask him why he was smiling but she could only mutter out "water." And even then was it croaky.

**"She didn't want him to run, he didn't want her to fear"**

Flynn left her sight for a while. Whilst he was gone she sat up on the white cushions and rubbed her temples. Leaning her elbows on her knees. She heard Flynn's footsteps and looked up to him again. He kneeled down next to her and handed her a glass of cool water. Elsa drained it within seconds and then cleared her throat so she could speak clearly.

**"Nobody said it'd be easy, they knew it was rough. But, tough luck."**

"Why are you hear? What happened?" She looked around and found no evidence that she'd had a mental break down last night. The mirror was leaning next to the door frame with all the glass cleared up. Flynn chuckled with no humour, only confusion, sarcasm and pity.

"You want to know what happened? Okay. How about how I called you and you didn't answer, how I came down here to see the door open? Oh wait, this is my favourite part of the whole situation, how about how I walked into the bathroom to see my best friend laying in blood with cuts up and down her arms?" He ended up yelling at that point, he was so angry, so confused and sad.

**"I fell in love today, There aren't any words that you can say."**

He should have noticed, how she was reluctant to go to the beach, swimming, how her sleeves were always rolled down. He was angry, but not at Elsa, at himself. He looked at her and noticed her head was hanging down in despair. He spoke with a softer tone, "When I saw the door open, I knew something was wrong so I walked inside...

Flynn walked into the flat, everything was silent. He looked around and saw an empty vodka bottle laying half smashed in the middle of the combined dining room / lounge. Flynn picked it up and inspected it carefully looking over the label. It had light pink lipstick stains around the opening, drained. He shook his head and walked a little further and saw a smashed mirror and what seemed to be the other side of the smashed bottle. Flynn's heart started to beat faster in his chest and he ran down the corridor to Elsa's bedroom but it was empty, only a neatly made bed and furniture placed around the room. He walked into the bathroom and gasped. Flynn fell to his knees, his hands falling limp at his side. His eyes, that were now shining with tears, scanned the area.

Blood

So much blood.

He took in two deep breaths and tried to wipe the tears away but it was no use, new ones kept replacing the old ones. He just crawled forward and checked Elsa's pulse, it was still beating strong, he let out a sigh of relief and grabbed her wrists elevating her arms so the bleeding would stop and heal easier. He was remembered, memories flashed through his vision. He couldn't let it happen again. He ran to the cupboard pulling out a first aid kit. He took the lid off and grabbed some bandages and antiseptic. He got a cloth and wet it, he then wiped her arms down and rubbed some antiseptic on her cuts. He winced when he felt Elsa flinch a little, but he sighed thankfully that she was indeed alive. After he bandaged her arms up and picked her up. He walked down stairs and laid her on the couch and put her arms above her head to keep the cuts from bleeding again. He went to work on cleaning the bathroom and mirror. When he finished he checked her pulse and smiled when he noticed it was at the normal beat. She was okay.

R

**"That could ever get my mind to change. She's enough for me, she's in love with me."**

"How did you know what to do?" Elsa asked, baffled by what she had heard. She was a mess the previous night, out of her mind. She would never have done that sober. Maybe she was crazy, mental, insane. But no, she reminded herself, she was normal, she was fine, she was okay.

"Because five years ago I stumbled into the same scene, only I was too late." Flynn said quietly breathing in and out deeply. He kept on thinking, what if he was too late again. What if she died then and there? But it was okay, because it didn't happen she was fine, she was safe.

**"You're a doll, you are flawless. But I just can't wait for love to destroy us."**

"Oh." It was all Elsa could think to say, she had made in relive something he didn't want to forget. She felt bad, terrible.

"Elsa...just why? How are you feeling?" Flynn asked sitting down next to Elsa on the sofa. She smiled slightly and turned to face him.

"I'm fine, I mean sometimes I am just scared or panicked. But I'm fine, if you don't count hatred towards yourself, the horrible fear of something big about to happen, the not sleeping. The panic attacks have been worse but it's all fine. I'm surprised I didn't die earlier actually." She laughed trying to make the topic lighter. It didn't seem to work because Flynn looked at her sadly, annoyed and disappointed.

"

She mentally groaned, disappointment was the worst thing to have someone feel about you. Flynn squeezed the knee closest to him and hit it lightly.

"Get changed, I know I know 'why I just woke up' but you don't want to be fired." He said, Elsa got up and was about to leave to go to her room but he stopped her, "Look I know you never wanted me to find out but it's probably for the best you know. This conversation is not over but don't worry, I won't tell anyone, just, no more secrets okay?" He asked, Elsa looked at him, guilt flooding her veins. She smiled though,

**"I just can't wait for love The only flaw – you are flawless."**

"No more secrets."

Elsa changed into a black skirt, white jumper and her familiar black and white Katz. (They are really nice shoes btw look them up) She sighed and looked in the mirror, she felt better, more refreshed. Maybe she was just bipolar or had MPD but she felt better. Like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had told someone, well not really, but someone knew the gist of it. It was better then sneaking around. She smiled and put a thin layer of mascara on before walking out to see Flynn leaning against the door, he grinned up at her.

**"But I just can't wait for love to destroy us. I just can't wait for love."**

"Let's go El."

Flynn and Elsa walked into the building she had a small smile on her face, she took her coat off and put it on the coat rack humming a little tune she had stuck in her head. She looked around and saw only Jack and Astrid huddled over something, she crossed her eyebrows and went over to them. Elsa peeked over their shoulders she saw a maths sheet, probably Astrid's she was the only one who literally took math questions off the internet and solved them. She sighed quietly to not disturb them but she couldn't, help it. So she did it.

**"So, she put his heart in a bag, he wouldn't ask for it back."**

"The answers 288, you know." She blurted out making Jack squeal, he jumped around five feet in the air, Elsa giggled at his reaction but composed herself and placed a hand on her hip.

"I'm not surprised you said that."Jack smirked, composing himself. Astrid punched his shoulder and tried to stop herself from laughing too. Astrid and Elsa both knew it was some little thing he cocky shit head had planned. Elsa decided to play along.

**"He didn't want her to cry, she didn't want to be sad."**

"How come?" She asked almost mockingly but Jack didn't notice. It seemed like he was determined to get something or do something. Either way it scared Elsa a little bit because Jack never ha deny thing good up his sleeve. She looked down at him to find him staring up at her.

"Because I asked it to get your attention." Jack murmured to her, she looked at his eyes and found herself amazed by the light blue mixing with golden flecks. The contrast of the two colours made a almost hypnotising Ora about it, she could get lost in them for hours. Elsa felt Flynn tap her shoulder knocking her out of her little "daze"

"You have the intelligence of a donkey." She scoffed folding her arms, she could help but notice the quick glacé Jack gave to her wrist, the one where the bruise was. Was Jack worried? Probably not, she was just over thinking again, like a lot of the time but who didn't over think things?

**"She said, "You better not leave me."."**

"Donkeys are smart right." Jack asked with a frown, his eyebrows were scrunched together and he gave her a little pout. Astrid elbowed Jack again laughing at his stupidity, nobody seemed to want to tell him anything so Elsa stepped up, metaphorically.

"Oh Jack, honey, no." Elsa made a quick "tut" ing noise and rubbed his shoulde exaggerating to make a point, that Jack was in fact a donkey. Jack huffed playfully and made his lips into a straight line pushing them. He looked at Elsa grinning.

"Fine but you'll be proud of my donkey brain one day." He laughed lightly. Elsa couldn't help but smile slightly. She felt Flynn behind her and saw in the corner of her eye, Rupunzel and Hiccup enter, they were squeezing their hair and shaking their coats. Rupunzel had an umbrella and was shaking the water droplets off. She quickly took a look outside it was now raining crazily. Outside was dark clouds and some clashes of thunder. Elsa wouldn't be surprised if lightening came.

"One day too soon." She whispered in his ear then turned on her heel walking towards the employees room. Flynn and Astrid had left both Jack and Elsa alone at this point and were helping Rupunzel and Hiccup. She smirked when she heard Jack's chair scrape against the wooden floor, North was going to be annoyed if he found scratches on the floor from the chair.

"I'm sure El I'm sure." Jack called after her. She looked over her shoulder laughing and saw Jack sitting on the table with a weird stick in his hand, it was long and browns with blue and white tints in it. The end was fashioned into a strange arch, she couldn't help but wonder where he had got it from so quickly, she admired it a little too, his ability to collect things quick.

"This shit'll be fucked for days and weeks and months, but..."

"Yes you are Jack, yes you are." She yelled back over her shoulder to him. She didn't wait for a response before going into the break room and putting her apron on and sitting on a couch taking deep breaths, she didn't even need to do so, she just felt like doing it so she did. She was tired, so so tired. She thought for a second before deciding to take a quick nap. She leaned her head against the arm rest nuzzling her head into her hands and drifted of, taking a quick nap.

When she woke up she felt more relaxed and at ease, a thin blanket had been draped over her and a little pillow under her head. Elsa stretched and sat up rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands. She didn't even notice that Jack and Hiccup were looking at her from the couch opposite the one she was on. She yawned and ran a hand threw her hair, well the loose strands from her low pony tail. She opened her eyes wider and smiled to Hiccup and Jack finally seeing them.

**"Your a doll you are flawless."**

"How long did I sleep for?" She asked, Jack laughed and walked over plopping next to her, missing her feet by a millimetre.

"Only an hour, don't worry your not in trouble, Flynn told North you had a rough night so he let you be for a while." Hiccup explained walking forward and leaning in the arm rest. She nodded and folded the blanket up placing it next to her. She yawned again this time silently. Hastily she moved a hand in front of her mouth so people wouldn't see but the two boys laughed and poked her sides. She laughed with them feeling content, happy.

Sadly happiness doesn't seem to last forever, it goes as fast as it comes. For within seconds Elsa felt the dread pick up on her life. She was waiting a table, there was a mum and dad with two little girls, it reminded her of her family. The four people, the family that were perfect, the happy ones. Well until the accident of course.

**"But I just can't wait for love to destroy us."**

"I'm sorry could you repeat that?" She asked, to busy daydreaming to notice the father was ordering. He just smiled and waved his hand smiling widely. Elsa noticed that his other hand was gripping his wife's, maybe to show he was taken Elsa didn't know.

"Yes can we have two lasagnes and two kids bolognese please. Also two lemonades, one coke and one beer please." The man asked, Elsa nodded and walked away her mind hammering, chest becoming so tight it was sickening. Flynn seemed to notice almost straight away and ran over to Elsa who was panting pm her breathing had quickened and tears formed in her eyes. He guided her away from the restaurant and into the break room. She fell onto a wall and slid down it clutching herself,

"I-I think I'm ha-having a panic-ic att-attack." She stuttered, her head and chest ached and Flynn stood up pacing the room worried he didn't know what to do. His mind clicked.

"Elsa I need you to talk to me okay? Tell me exactly what you did when you graduated school." He said quickly kneeling in front of her grabbing her shoulders genially. She shook her head rapidly and let out a gasp of air, sucking air in quickly again, it repeated itself until Elsa managed to say something.

**"I just can't wait for love."**

"I-I got up and dressed, I showered and spent ages making myself look good, when I finished I walked to my school and saw some people I knew and talked to them about well everything," She didn't notice it but her breathing had decreased fast, she was almost completely normal again except her was still shaking ands pro king back and forth, "Then I did the whole graduation thing and here I am now, I'm here I want to be, where I should be." She finished, she was only silent for a few seconds before she smiled in amazement. The attack was over thanks too Flynn she grabbed him into a tight hug. She didn't want to let go but she did and stood up with shaky legs.

"I need time off." She said before leaving Flynn alone in the break room whilst she was in search for North.

"Hello North." Elsa asked walking into his office, he looked up from the paper work in front of him and clasped his hands together looking at her, a small smile playing on the edges of his lips.

"Yes El?" He asked, Elsa flicked with her fingers and looked up at North then back down to her fingers. She was scared to say it but she did anyway.

**"Your a flaw- you are flawless."**

"I was wondering if I could get the rest of the week off, " she asked quickly, North must have understood and listened because he shook his head and typed in some stuff on the keyboard or keyboard.

"Oh let me check," he muttered and continued checking he

Is email."Yah for a week only though. Why?" He asked, Elsa was beyond shocked, she didn't think she get that far. She thought he'd say no, not asked for treasure and money.

"Oh urm my sister is sick so she needs to be cared for and our parents are out of town." Elsa said in an almost robotic way, it was forceful and scary but she said it anymore.

"Oh okay, I hope she gets better soon." He smiled to her leaning over and squeeze her shoulder. She felt instantly better and more happy.

**"But I just can't wait for love to destroy us."**

"Thanks North." She waved at hi leaving the office happily. She had got. Week off, some time to collect herself and hell herself without people bugging in or telling her what to do

"Your welcome Elsa."

**"I just can't wait for love."**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

*Originally this was in Elsa's Point of view but I re-wrote it to be in Jacks

Hiii! I've updated bits that made no sense, bare with me, I wrote this when I was near asleep.*

**'I'm no superman, I can't take your hand.'**

Jack stretched his muscles and opened his eyes, blinded by the raging sun he closed them back up again and let out a load groan, boy did he hate mornings. He wished to himself that he could just skip work and lay in bed all day. His mind snapped awake, work. Crap, he looked at the alarm clock by his bed and saw the time. 8:30.

"Shit!" He yelled as he threw the duvet off himself and ran to his wardrobe pulling out a white V-neck and black jeans. He took in a deep breath and pulled the clothes on, not bothering to change the boxers he was wearing, he had changed them yesterday so therefore they were clean enough to wear. He buttoned up his jeans and pulled some simple black trainers on with no socks. He hated socks, they smelt disgusting, they were uncomfortable and kept your feet so enclosed and it felt claustrophobic. Don't even get him started on how much he hates jeans.

Jack looked at the time again, 8:35, he'd done that quicker than he had expected. He noted down in his head that he had around ten minutes till he needed to leave then walked downstairs. There was a note on the fridge, Jack walked over to it and picked it up reading it.

_'Jack,_

_I've gone to work and left a few nutrition bars in the cupboard (?) Eat them before the others wake up…if they do wake up. And try to wake up before 8…if you can._

_North '_

Jack rolled his eyes when reading it, North was tired when writing it, he could tell by the way his handwriting was rushed and loopy, plus there was a drop of drool on the bottom of the note. Plus what he wrote didn't even make much sense. Jack dropped the note in the bin and walked to the cupboard collecting a single nutrition bar with a sigh and walked into the hallway and saw the familiar brown, wooden door. He smiled and opened it grabbing the long stick in his hand. He pulled it out and ran his hand over the patterns and tapped the floor gently. Immediately the floor was coated in a thin layer of frost. Jack smiled and put the G shaped stick back into the cupboard under the stair then walked to the door.

"Off to work I guess." Jack muttered slamming the door behind him.

**'And fly you anywhere, You want to go.'**

Jack walked into the restaurant carefully and slowly so that nobody could notice he was late. Thankfully nobody did as nobody was even in the main room. 'Probably all in the kitchen eating,' Jack thought to himself, he laughed at his own joke and walked into the kitchen only seeing Flynn, Rapunzel, Hiccup and Astrid

"Hey Flynn." Jack said, not in the mood to talk to the others. Flynn looked at him a little confused but waved slightly and replied.

"Oh hi Jack." He muttered coolly, Jack laughed slightly and looked around. He noticed how the room was quieter and less crowded, a certain little beauty was missing. Jack turned back to Flynn and raised an eyebrow.

"Is Elsa in today," He asked, Jack grinned to himself before making an annoying click noise with his mouth "Or Nah."

"I, like anyone in the world, hate it when you do that. But no she isn't why?" Flynn questioned curiously. He leaned against the counter top and bit his lip whilst pressing them into a straight line. Jack looked down and wondered why he was being so stubborn to him. Jack let out an annoyed sigh. He couldn't help but grin slightly and he felt heat raise to his cheeks, he was blushing.

"Do you know why she isn't in?" He asked again, his voice more agitated and stern, Flynn raised his hands in mock defense, smiling like an idiot.

**'I can't read your mind, Like a billboard sign.'**

"No, well yes." Flynn said unsure completely, he knew only kinda why he wasn't in, not the full reason. Whenever he thought back to what she said he shivers, he has a gut feeling she was lying but if she was, it was hard to tell and she was good.

"Why then?" Jack leaned on the counter next to Flynn and twirled a fork he'd picked up from the side with his fingers. Jack looked and saw that Astrid and Rapunzel had left the room and that Hiccup was helping the cook, Kronk, cook. Jack looked back to Flynn with a smile.

"Something about her sister being ill, I don't know but I'm checking up on her after work if you want to come?" Flynn responded, Jack thought for a second. Maybe he should go, it'll be fun to annoy Elsa with his presence, it was obvious she got extremely annoyed and pissed off with him. Jack made a humming noise and tapped his nose deep in thought. He squinted his eyes and tilted his head to the side. It could be fun to show up without warning, like a surprise party. But without balloons, people, cake without everything you need for one except the element of surprise is still there. Jack stood up quickly grinning.

**'And tell you everything, You want to hear,'**

"No, it's okay. Maybe if I'm in the mood." Jack said before running off in the direction of North's office. Flynn rolled his eyes as he watched Jack's retreating body walk into the bosses office.

"Weird boy." He muttered to himself before going off to the tables to take some orders.

When Jack entered the office, North was tapping a pencil against the desk, a bored expression on his face. Who could blame him? Business wasn't as busy as normal this week and North needed to figure out why. North looked up to Jack and a bright smile appeared on his face.

"Ah! Jack sit down my boy. What can I do for you?" North smiled, his Russian accent standing out. Jack sat down and just grinned. He chuckled softly to himself and then leaned forward on the desk, pulling the chair into it with his feet. North stared at Jack waiting for him to say something and finally he did.

"North, I want to ask you a question..."

**'I'll be your hero, I can be everything you need.'**

Jack knocked on the door with the golden 221 imprinted on it. Jack waited until he saw the door open. Elsa was standing there, her hair loose around her shoulders and she was wearing only an over-sized, baggy jumper that reached the top of her knees and fell of one of her shoulders, the sleeves of her jumper was bunched up and she held them tightly in her fists. He looked at her then studied her face, which was surprised.

"Jack? What are you doing here?" She asked, her voice delicate and light. She ran a hand threw her hair and pulled the jumper so it wouldn't cling to her petite body. Jack noted all these things in his head. You can tell a person by their actions. Even the toughest and most mysterious people were easy to read. He looked at her collar and noticed that is stick out a little more than it did three weeks ago. He wasn't a pervert, he was simply an observant person, he liked to notice the beauty in people, so he couldn't help but admire the beauty in front of him that was Elsa. He shook his head and looked at her face. The careful bone structure. High cheekbones, bright blue eyes and thick long lashes, thin pink lips and platinum blonde hair that ever so nearly reached her tiny waist.

"I came to see if you were okay. I mean you weren't at work so.." He trailed off, not knowing what to say or do. This was normally the part he was bad at. Talking to someone after them saying hello. Well, in this case, nobody had said hello but instead went straight to the point, he kinda admired that in a woman. The ability to take control of the situation. Elsa frowned at first but quickly put on her normal straight, emotionless face.

"She's fine, just resting in bed." She lied, Jack knew she was lying. It was in her body language. The way she wouldn't meet his eye and he foot was shuffling on the floor, he thumbs kept twirling around themselves which had distracted Jack from the point. Jack decided to have a little…fun with the situation.

"Oh really?" He teased dragging on the act a little longer then he was meant to, "Can I see her then?" He grinned proudly looking down at Elsa. He never notice their height difference before, she had to be around 5'8 whilst he was a 6'2. Four inches difference. He didn't even know why it interested him but it did. Elsa looked panicked for a split second before she turned and walked into her flat not bothering to look at Jack. He took it as an open invitation and walked inside closing the door behind him with a slight bang. Elsa sighed and sat down on her sofa leaning forward. Jack sat next to her but was leaning against the arm.

"Okay you got me, Ana's not sick." She sighed in defeat. Jack was surprised at how quickly she had given up, most people would have tried to keep it on longer, maybe by saying she was "too sick" too see anyone or that it was very "contagious". But Elsa snapped straight away, it told him a lot about her already. No questions asked.

"Okay, I won't tell anyone." He offered, he looked at her and she smiled widely, Jack noticed the slight crinkles that formed around her eyes when she smiled, Jack admired it, my god did he like that smile.

"Really?" She asked. Jack nodded and reached his arms out, Elsa was hesitant but embraced him, she winced when he touched her waist and relaxed when he touched her shoulder blades. It was typical boundaries that Jack was to discover. Everyone had them. He had just found one of hers.

**'If you're the one for me, like gravity I'll be unstoppable.'**

"So, why, if your sister isn't ill, are you off work?" Jack quizzed, Elsa sighed and looked at him for a second and Jack saw the hesitance in her eyes. Her breath hitched in her throat. He scrunched his eyebrows together and waited for her reply.

"I was just really tired and hung over, I needed to have some time for me. You understand right?" She responded quietly, Jack looked at her adoringly. For him it was adorable, all she needed was glasses and she had the package. Jack ignored it though and nodded.

"Yeah I know what you mean." Jack nodded harshly and Elsa shuffled so she was facing him. They smiled to each other and then Jack looked down at the back of her hand.

**'I, yeah, I believe in destiny, I may be an ordinary guy.'**

"Hey, how is that bruise doing?" He asked looking for it but there was no sign it had ever been there. He was half relieved and half worried. It was strange, sure Jack had known and been with a lot of woman but nobody, none of them, made Jack feel as worried as he was for Elsa most of the time. She was someone special. And my god did Jack like it.

**'With heart and soul, But if you're the one for me.'**

"It's okay, all gone now. Back to normal." Elsa accounted, pointing to where the bruise had been. Jack made an 'ah-ha' noise and crossed his legs, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Elsa let out a small smile and put her hands back down to her sides.

"How did you get it again, I forgot." Jack asked, he knew the answer, he just wanted to see if he could catch Elsa out on a lie, to make sure she wasn't lying when she said that she'd trapped it in her car door. Elsa kept calm a face but inside she was dying.

"Trapped it in a car door." She retorted quickly, Jack nodded and remembered what Flynn had said about coming over, he wished that he never said he was coming round or decided to not come because he was having a fun talking to Elsa. He enjoyed it.

"Oh Elsa Flynn is coming over after his shift." Jack informed her; she looked at him with a face that held confusion and surprise.

**'Searching high and low, Trying every road.'**

"Wow, I should have expected that." She sighed, leaning onto her hand and smiling to Jack. Jack chuckled and shifted his position. He moved so most of his back was on the sofa arm and he was facing her more,

"Yeah I guess." He spluttered out. That was how they spent the rest of the day. Talking about anything and everything. Jack was surprised at how easily the conversation went. He had expected a lot of awkward silences and awkward laughs but there were none shared between them. Sadly the day was coming to an end, Flynn was going to be there in fifteen minutes. Jack stood up and smiled at Elsa. She walked him to the door and they shook hands.

"It was a pleasure talking to you Elsa, we should talk again soon." He offered, he held a finger out quickly to stop her from saying anything and handed her his phone, "Add your number love then text yourself." He told her calmly. She nodded and did so adding her number to his phone and texting from it. She laughed and handed his phone back.

"Here." She smiled and found herself hugging Jack again, Jack wrapped his arms around her shoulders remembering how she flinched if her touched her waist. He would never understand the while deal with waists and women. Elsa nuzzled her face into his shoulder and let out a long breath, they pulled away and Elsa waved at Jack until he hated walked out of sight, only then did she finally decided she needed to go back to sleep, her mind was sloppy and slow, plus her eyes were closing and felt heavy, She took a quick thirty minute nap and woke up. Flynn still wasn't here. She sat on the sofa curled up in a blanket, watching TV whilst waiting for her friend to knock at her door.

**'I'll put my trust in fate, That you will come my way.' **

It had been an hour since Jack left, Elsa was half happy and half disappointed, she really liked talking to Jack but he was probably doing it for his father, as he was the boss. There was a familiar rhythmic knock that played on the door. Elsa opened the door and saw Flynn stand there awkwardly.

"Hey, come in." She offered and took him into the lounge. The sat down next to each other and looked at each other a few times, Flynn held Elsa's hand and glanced down at it, there were no new looking cuts. Thank god.

"Okay." Flynn replied once happy with is discovery. Elsa looked at him confused but shook it off and pulled her hand out of his.

**'And if it's right, It's undeniable.'**

Over time Elsa started to notice how Flynn would always look at her wrists. She was piecing it all together, oh dear god.

"Why do you keep glancing at my wrist?" She asked praying silently that he wasn't and that she was just imagining it. Elsa had a terrified look on her features. She was done with everyone worrying about her. She needed to get somewhere where she is safe.

"No reason." Flynn tried to play it off all cool but failed miserably. Elsa slapped her forehead twice with the back of her hand. She stood up and started to pace the room muttering random things to herself. She groaned and sat on the edge of her coffee table.

"Oh my god." She whispered, putting a hand on her mouth only lowering it to talk to Flynn.

"What?" Flynn asked completely confused, Elsa shook her head is disprovable and disappointment. Elsa just thought he was acting innocent but he genuinely was confused.

"You think I did it again! Stop worrying over me I'm fine!" Elsa tried to convince them but because of society you can't convince anyone, it is easy to tell the difference between an openly depressed teen, and a closed up depressed people. But no, Elsa was fine, she has been fine and will always be fine.

**'So incredible, Some kind of miracle.'**

"You're not fine Elsa! People who are fine don't hack up their skin!" Flynn said loudly, his voice straining against his vocal chords.

"Who are you to judge what 'fine' people do?" Elsa interrogated Flynn, he let out an exhausted sigh and, with a red face and heavy voice yelled at her.

"Better then you too, Elsa can't you see you are not fine. You have a problem that needs fixing!" He couldn't help it, it hurt him to see someone he cared about wasting away, he couldn't let it happen again.

"I do not have a problem" Elsa replied stubborn crossing her arms and ankles, hooking them into one and forcefully blinking her eyes.

**'When it's meant to be, I'll become a hero.'**

"Please Elsa, you need to understand this will only get worse until you commit or decide to fix yourself." Flynn pleaded looking into her eyes and saw the tears rising but not falling, it was like she didn't even care anymore.

"I don't need "fixing" I am fucking fine." Elsa shouted in his face she stormed halfway down the hallway, when Flynn punched a wall, so much for keeping calm. Elsa jumped in shock at the anger that had suddenly erupted from her friend.

"Oh my god, this is so frustrating! Elsa you're in denial." Flynn accused, Elsa frowned and a pissed look took over she upset and confused face, she wasn't just angry, she was livid.

"Denial from what?" Elsa screamed, stamping her foot on the ground in annoyance and anger, her breathing had increased rapidly she felt like her heart was going into overload but she was to upset and angry to care.

**'So I'll wait, wait, Wait, wait for you.'**

"Denial that you need help." Flynn stated calmly, trying not to stay put together and not cry at the sight of his broken friend. The beautiful girl in front of him with a broken soul. Elsa looked down at the floor.

"Get out, leave my flat." She announced pointing to the door down the hall. Flynn looked at her in surprise and shock. He shook his head harshly. Gasping for fresh air he stepped forward to only have Elsa take a long step back.

"Elsa!"

"No Flynn just please leave." She begged. With that he turned on his heel and walked to the door looking one last time at Elsa before walking outside and gently closing the door behind him. Elsa ran to her room and flung herself on her bed letting the tears fall, it took only a few minutes before she was full out sobbing. She was shutting out her best friend, right when she needed him. She needs him. She wished she didn't make him leave.

**'I'll be your hero.'**


End file.
